Well what can I say...it's been a rough week & it's hard to forget what happened, but we try our best to be strong. There will be times where I'm okay and I'm just busy doing something else, but there are times where I just think too hard about what happened & it puts me down. I'm going to fight it though. Every night for the past week, when we're in bed, right before we go to sleep, I give him a hug & Mark reassures me that, "We're going to be okay, babe. We'll be okay." Last night was a pretty bad night; sometimes when you're just so frustrated, you end up taking out all that anger on someone (and I did it on Mark again). And I felt really bad because it put him down, and he ended up leaving because he couldn't stand being in the house. Just too much has been happening. It's been killing his focus on school as well. He kept telling himself how big of a failure he was, but I keep reminding him that he is never a failure in my eyes. FAILURE doesn't run in his blood; he always strives to get what he wants. He kept asking me, "Why do all these bad things happen to me in my life? Bad things always happen to me, no matter what I do. I try so hard to make everything better for myself and for my family. Now I just feel SO tired, like I failed everybody. I'm just so tired..." and it made me so sad to hear him say that. Then I told him, "Babe, once your son is here, you're going to understand your whole reason for living." Sigh. Such an emotional week. I'm just grateful that we have each other.
So enough of the drama. Back to updates on my pregnancy. I can't believe I'm already 7 months pregnant. My head's been bombarded with all these plans and stressful events that I don't realize how fast time is passing by. Dylan's arrival is getting so much closer, and before we know it, he'll be here! We already got the crib in, and we'll be setting it up this weekend. I set up the whole Ikea drawer set by myself because I know Mark's been preoccupied with other things. I didn't know I could do it, but I did! Pregnant or not, I'm still useful. We also gotta set up our new little pantry cabinet so everything in the room will look nice and pretty by the 14th (:
Anyways, my pregnancy hasn't been as bad as I expected (I could be speaking too soon; I still have less than 3 months to put up with). This baby is getting big. He kicks and rolls around in here like it's a party all day or something. And it hardens up & I always gotta go "AHHHHHHHH" cuz it's a lot of pressure on my belly, ha. (He's doing it right now too) Hmm, what else. The bathroom trips are still the same...I go all the time, and I hate leaving the house because (even though I pee right before I leave) I end up having to go to the bathroom. It's annoying when I'm shopping somewhere like at Michael's or if I'm at the mall. I just hate going out of my way or walking far in general. I get so tired & my feet hurt. Lol. God, I've become such a fattie. My fingers look all fat now, and my feet won't fit in my size shoes (size 7) when I try them on at stores. I'm just plain out fat. It makes me sad. I was trying on outfits at Forever 21 yesterday (for my baby shower outfit), and I swear I almost ripped up like 3 dresses. Ugh. But I ended up finding something I liked so that's a good thing. I can't believe the shower (here in Lomita) is a little over a week away! I have much to do. I've already picked out some decorations, games, what to do for the giveaways, etc. I'm glad I have this to keep me distracted from all the bad events happening this week. It's stressful yet relieving to have something to look forward to. It'll be fun.
I wanted to show you guys what I have so far of my weekly belly update. I take a picture of my big fat belly every week ever since 13 weeks (well I sorta missed week 14 and 15, but that's okay). It's crazy though, seeing how HUGE I've gotten. Of course, there shall be more added. I got a couple months left to go! And please, don't mind my stretchmarks. Gross. I try using the Cocoa Butter..it was SOMEHOW working. I guess. Idk.
Anyways, gotta head to bed. I have my 3 hour glucose (GTT) to go to tomorrow (not fun) & I just want to get it over with already. I'm already fasting for the rest of the night & I'm really cranky because I wanted to eat some oreos. G'night.
PS: Thanks to everyone again for the support. We love you all.
3 comments:
lol... i could totally relate to you not fitting into clothes.. i got soo big that i just wore sweats to my babyshower cos nothing was fitting me right. anyways, thats soooo awesome how you took pictures of your pregnancy!! it's really neat to see the changes week after week.
& i heard about the somewhat good news about mark.. i'll pray everything goes well :]
haha! yeah, i really don't like how i'm fitting in my clothes right now, like i don't even bother putting on anything nice when i go out anymore; i look like a straight up fat bum.
anyways, thank you! we are definitely praying that things will go the way they hope..thanks to you both for your support :] it helps.
awww!! i love your belly!!! i wish i had done what you did.
so i spoke to markie already & i'm so sorry you had to go through that. i was so pissed off.. ugh. karma will get to him, don't you worry. i told mark that when dylan arrives... the hard work will all be worth it.
you guys have to stay strong together :) no matter what happen.
well!! 5 more days! :] i'm excited already!
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